Remedy laughed too, it made her happy to hear Romulus laugh.
"Yeah I know, they look like aliens here, they needed some time to fill out." Remedy chuckled before swiping to another photo. This one they were back at the Laughin home, both boys in a rocker facing each other as they slept. They weren't much bigger but a little less gummy looking. They weren't wearing hats in this one, you could see their hair that was thin and fair, slick and smooth on the cradle of their heads. "They've always slept best together. Romano could probably sleep on his own, but Venturo can seldom sleep without him." She explained.
"Me and Remus were like that too, up until we...well...we left." Romulus explained with a little tilt of his shoulders. "Do they still sleep together?" He asked. _________________ Butts n' butts n' butts n' butts.
"Yes," Remedy answered with a soft smile, looking back at the boys on her phone. "Our sleeping arrangement right now is a little unconventional, but we make it work." Remedy explained.
“As long as it is comfortable.” Romulus said, the smile on his own face softening as he continued to look at the phone. There was a brief pause where Romulus weighed his next words before he finally spoke again. “I still don’t know what I am going to do going forward,” he admitted, “but…whether or not I deserve to be in their lives, or yours, I want to at least meet them. If that’s okay.” He fidgeted with his cup as he looked away then, unsure still if he was really allowed even that. _________________ Butts n' butts n' butts n' butts.
Remedy's smile broadened at that. Her expression was still soft at the acknowledgment that Romulus questioned what he deserved, but she absolutely wanted Romulus to meet their boys and if he felt he wanted that much, Remedy was eager to make it happen.
"Of course, they've been wanting to meet you. I kept telling them, 'not yet,' but they're not very patient." Remedy admitted with a little chuckle. "Whenever, wherever works best for you. I can even bring them to Remus and 'Az's apartment if you prefer." Remedy offered, 'Az' referred to 'Astrid'.
“I was thinking…is there anywhere they like going? Astrid and Remus take Lucita out a lot during the day and they make it sound like she enjoys it.” Romulus asked, picking at the coffee cup lid. _________________ Butts n' butts n' butts n' butts.
Remedy knew exactly where the twins would want to go, and that they would no doubt want to bring Romulus and show him around. Romano and Venturo were very much boys in the way that they liked their dirt and to rough house, but there was one place they loved going that was a bit more tame than digging a hole to Australia or wrestling in the mud.
The aquarium. The boys like to go and would spend all day with their faces pressed against the glass as they watched fish swim by. They go to the touch tank and spend time there, they’d leave and watch feeding time for whatever big fish or creature, then return to the touch tank again. It was their favorite part. Venturo liked the stingrays, even though he said they feel ‘like raw chicken,’ he was mesmerized by them and how they would glide over the sand. Romano would examine the water closely, hunting for the rogue octopus that would camouflage in the coral, scanning for any movement. His eyes would go glassy and Remedy would have to remind him to blink.
She wanted Romulus to experience that.
“They love going to the aquarium actually. It’s usually an all day thing, if you think you’re up for it?” Remedy asked but was expecting he would accept even if he wasn’t up for it. By now Remedy was convinced that this would be the perfect setting for them to meet and get to know each other, she could already picture the twin boys tugging on either of his arms in separate directions, undecided on what thing to show him first. Remedy couldn’t wait to watch them together like that.
"The place with the fish?" Romulus asked and followed with a thoughtful hum. "I've never been before...they like it though?" He looked over at Remedy. In truth, he hadn't been to many places, at least not for his own enjoyment, but he was happy to do anything that would allow him to spend time with his children. _________________ Butts n' butts n' butts n' butts.
“Yeah, they love it. There’s a place where you can put your hands in the shallow water and touch some of the animals.” Remedy explained, looking back at Romulus. “I know they would love to go with you.” She said.
"Okay, if you think they'd like that, let's do that." He nodded softly. "I don't want to scare them with all," he gestured loosely to his still bruised face with a wave of his hand, "so maybe...we wait a little longer? Is that okay?" _________________ Butts n' butts n' butts n' butts.
"Of course, we'll do it down the line. When you're feeling better." Remedy said, offering a smile and another nudge of her elbow into his side (not hard at all). Even if the feelings were as complicated as the history, the air of familiarity was there. All Remedy could do was be herself, it was as natural as breathing.
--
When she picked up the boys from her parents house, she let them know where she had been and what she had been up to that day. Remedy explained that she met with their father and they wanted to schedule a time to meet up all of them.
Excitement ensued.
The boys laughed and screamed, kicking their little sandaled feet in their booster seats. When Remedy followed up that they were planning on going to the aquarium, more giggle-shrieking erupted from the backseat. Her boys were loud like this often, when they were happy. But it rarely wore on her patience, she liked it especially when they were being loud when they were happy. Remedy was like that too. She was always the one laughing loudest at the dinner table and Roxanne would gentle scold her, that it was bad manners and unladylike. But it made her feel closer to her boys when they could all laugh like that, she felt their joy and screamed along with them. They kicked their little feet and Remedy shook her head and her baseball cap came off her head. If anyone had seen or heard them at a red light, they would surely be concerned.
But it was a day of triumph as far as she was concerned. She took the boys and celebrated with by going to the arcade and getting ice cream after. The week leading up to the fated meeting, the enthusiasm did not dwindle. The twins drew pictures for Romulus, varying things; some scenes and animals Remedy could discern, some she could not. On one hand she wanted to tell them that Romulus probably wouldn't want to carry around a bunch of papers at the aquarium, but she didn't have the heart. Apart of her knew that Romulus absolutely would want each drawing and carry it around the aquarium, she also reasoned she could hold them in her "diaper bag."
Remedy was excited too, she felt less nervous seeing Romulus again since it seemed their last meeting went smoothly. She would also admit she was just excited to see Romulus interact with the boys, it was worlds colliding in the best way. She saw him in her boys, she hoped he would see it too.
The day of, Remedy dressed the boys in overalls and short sleeves with a jacket. She wanted them to be warm but able to take off layers for the touch tank, and if they had short sleeves they wouldn't have to keep rolling up sleeves. She did put on caps on both of them, Romano had a orange cap with a navy colored 'R' on the front, handstitched with love by Roxanne. Venturo had a yellow cap with a thin, green, needlepunched 'V' on the front. This one was done by Remedy, trying to replicate her mother's handiwork. Romano and Venturo were identical twins, and while Remedy could tell them apart as their mother, she didn't want to expect Romulus to. Maybe he would be able to because he was also an identical twin? She thought it better safe than sorry.
Remedy didn't dress up and didn't bother to try to do anything fancy with her hair. She wore her uniform white t shirt but layered it with her old bomber jacket. It had been in her possession forever, she couldn't really remember how she came to own it, she thought maybe she stole it from someone at fight club. But however long she had it, Romulus might recognize it as her signature jacket, the one she wore the night they met. Though that wasn't on her mind when she wore it of course.
She loaded her car up to and drove to the aquarium. The plan was to meet there, outside of the entrance. The whole drive there, she kept checking her mirror to study the twins in the backseat. They seemed eager still, no hint of anxiety. She thought it was like taking them to see Santa Clause, like he was this person they already knew, someone they already loved. It made Remedy glad and allowed her to feel easy too, they rode that excitement all the way to the aquarium. From the parking lot, the twins walked a step ahead Remedy, holding hands and hurrying ahead of her. Both with their heads up and searching for this person they had never met.
Romulus didn’t have much experience with children, at least not beyond the little bit of time he had spent with his niece, Lucita, since moving in with his brother’s family, so it went without saying that he felt extremely out of his depth in regards to meeting his and Remedy’s boys for the first time.
He was extremely nervous about whether or not the boys would like him, though Remedy had insisted time and time again in the days leading up to their meeting that they’d love him. He wasn’t sure how he would navigate the situation if they decided he wasn’t what they had hoped for. He was used to disappointing people, but he decidedly did not want to disappoint Romano and Venturo above all else, not after being absent for so long. More than worrying about their potential disappointment, Romulus was worried about his general goodness and whether or not his parents’ awfulness wore off on him in ways that would make him a bad father. The thought he might be as terrible to them as his parents were to him made him sick to his stomach, which Remus told him meant that he was in fact NOT awful, but he had to worry about it nonetheless.
He was standing outside of the aquarium gates, leaned up against the wall beside the box office. Remus, Astrid, and Lucita had gone with him to drop him off, but had since left him there, wishing him good luck and assurances (he even got a sloppy kiss on his cheek from baby Lu). He definitely looked much better now that he was a few weeks removed from his incident. His bruises had faded, only leaving yellow splotches on his neck that were only visible if you were really looking for them. Most of his stitches had been removed and only fresh little pink scars remained. Upon first arriving at Remus and his family’s home, Astrid had gone ahead and fixed his roughly shaved hair by evening it all out. It now was growing out, covering the new scaring on the side of his head, though he still currently preferred to wear a baseball cap to conceal it all. In his hands, he fussed with some plastic wind-up fishes he’d picked up at the store while out with Astrid and Lu one day. They were meant to be a gift to his boys, though now he felt silly giving it to them, like maybe it wasn’t enough, after all, he’d been gone for their whole lives.
——-
“Mama, how come you call him our dad, but uncle JJ calls him Robulum?” Romano was perhaps the more quizzical between the twins, his eyes always bright and curious. In the last few weeks, his mama had been amping the boys up about finally getting to meet their dad, but in that time he had heard plenty of arguing between his mama and uncle, sometimes his grandparents even. He didn’t really understand what the problem was, but that being said he didn’t even really know his dad’s name, not well enough to pronounce it correctly anyways.
He was walking hand-in-hand with Venturo, something they often did, and he craned his head backwards to look back at Remedy while his twin led them along. _________________ Butts n' butts n' butts n' butts.
“Because Uncle JJ is a-..” Remedy began but paused and trailed off, not wanting to call her brother what she really wanted to say in front of the boys. “He’s just confused, you know how he is.” Remedy said, as though that was explanation enough and she hoped it would be. She considered the situation complicated, at least when she thought about how to convey it to the kids. She thought it best to keep it simple and vague, the issues regarding Romulus had nothing to do with her boys and began long before their birth. She didn’t want any outside opinions to taint their formulating opinions on Romulus, because Remedy truly believed he could be a good dad to them. They deserved each other.
When it came to her own family, her dad and brothers, Remedy couldn’t quite understand why they couldn’t forgive him when Remedy had (or wanted to). Perhaps Remedy’s cool and easy going nature was just too lax for her to understand the depth of what transpired. Like it or not though, she didn’t feel the same way she did all those years ago. Or at least she had let go of the fear and the hurt. When the feelings of betrayal washed away, adoration remained.
“I think his name is Romulum.” Venturo chimed in after his twin, also getting the name wrong. His lips were pursed, his green eyes focused as he kept his gaze straight ahead, scanning for their dad.
“His name is Romulus, actually. But call him how you feel most comfortable, he won’t mind.” Remedy replied with a cool shrug, adjusting the ‘diaper bag’ on her shoulder. The boys had been potty trained for a couple years now, thank goodness. But Remedy found it still useful to keep a bag, as a mom she found that she was always in need of wipes and snacks and neosporin, it made more sense to keep a go bag with all essential things.
Venturo didn’t answer his mom back when his eyes rested on an individual leaning against the wall by the box office. When Venturo thought about the kind of person their dad was, he only really thought he must be tall. Because Remedy was tall, the women in her family often were. Grande-mere, Roxanne was tall too. He pictured someone who could lean down easily to kiss her, and that she could reach up to hug with her arms. He’d never seen his mom that way, as she’d never kissed or hugged someone the way that mommy’s and daddy’s do. But he could picture it so clearly, and when he rested his eyes on a tall man with a baseball cap, he thought that must be him.
“Is that him?” Venturo blurt loudly, pointing with the index finger of his free hand as he began dragging Romano behind him as he picked up speed.
Venturo was perhaps the more impulsive twin, he meant well and led with his heart in all things. An emotional decision maker, Venturo was someone who dove headfirst into things without consideration. He would run to a stranger thinking someone was his dad, based on the idea he could see the stranger with his mom.
Remedy squinted with her eyes until she spotted Romulus too, she smiled wide before waving at him.
Romano gasped a little at Remedy's confirmation and he hastened his own pace in time with his twin. As it was a weekday, the aquarium entrance was relatively clear of people, so the boys had to do very little dodging as they approached the man, their father. Without missing a beat, and with little regard for personal space, upon reaching him, Romano reached up to grab the man's sleeve, lightly tugging at it.
"Hey, hey, are you are our dad?" He chirped up at the man.
Romulus jumped a bit at the sudden tugging and looked down to see two little boys who, in an instant, his heart recognized.
These were his boys. _________________ Butts n' butts n' butts n' butts.
Venturo ran up with Romano in tandem, tugging on his other sleeve and standing on his tip toes to get a better look at his face. The baseball cap he wore obscured his face from a distance, and Venturo really wanted to inspect him. Just as Remedy had hoped, Venturo recognized himself in Romulus. Whether it was the slanted angle of their eyes, or just their shared cells reacting to biological history, Venturo could see that it was their dad.
“He is our dad!” Venturo declared, swinging on his sleeve a bit. Most of Remedy’s long sleeves had one sleeve that was usually a half inch longer and the cuff of it blown out from Venturo hanging on her sleeve. But Remedy liked it, it was like a symbol of Venturo’s love for her. She couldn’t wait to see Romulus’s long sleeves worn out the same way.
Remedy stood back for a moment and just watched them, she wanted to give the three of them a private moment to connect. It warmed her heart to watch them all together like that.
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