"I think," Remedy began quietly still, as she walked another half step before sliding onto her knees on the floor beside him. "You did what you had to, what you were told. I'm sorry that you were in that position to begin with. But those things you had to do, they didn't come from your heart. I know, because I've seen it." She looked at him from the corners of her dark eyes, without turning her head. Remedy believed Romulus was capable and worthy of love because she believed she felt it before. Even though Romulus initially pursued Remedy with ill intentions, and learning this wounded her badly. But on cold nights, when she fell asleep with the window open; the wind would blow over her exposed hip and give her goosebumps. It reminded her of Romulus, and what it was like to be held by him. Remedy had never been held like that before, or again since. That love was real, and she was sure of it. The love for his children was real, and she was even more certain of that. Remedy had always known the intentions Romulus carried in his heart, it has always been love.
Romulus opened his mouth to respond, but stopped short when Romano let out a sleepy little whine. The boy’s brows were furrowed from a frustrating dream, surely, and Romulus reached out to press his thumb to the wrinkle in an effort to smooth it out. There was a beat, the whining stopped and was replaced by nasally sleep breathing, and Romulus slowly moved his thumb away before speaking.
“I never wanted to do those things. I never liked hurting people. I never liked lying or using my body the way they made me-“ a little shudder ran through him and a knot balled in his chest at the thought, “but…I…I still did them. I did…horrible, horrible things… I don’t feel like I deserve their love, the adoration. Even if I am trying to do good things now, it won’t make up for all that bad. It won’t…it won’t even make up for what I did to you.” _________________ Butts n' butts n' butts n' butts.
Remedy's brows furrowed as she finally turned to face him properly. The glow of the television illuminated the sharp angles of her face. Streaks of light, flickered across her face. She had never considered herself to be beautiful, her features contrasted that of her mother, who was famously, very beautiful. Where Roxanne was soft, Remedy was sharp. Roxanne had a warm gaze, and for her eldest daughter, her stare was intense and piercing. Remedy was loud, and strong, and willful. In this way, she was not her mother's daughter, but Remedy never cared about who she looked or how she was perceived. The matter of her appearance was only a fact she was aware of, but not something she lived by. She found though, what she cared about most, was feeling seen. Even with her easy going nature, and over familiar attitude, she'd never felt really seen before Romulus. Perhaps that was Romulus's true superpower, his ability to connect. Armand may have used it for nefarious purposes, but Romulus was honest to god good.
"What you did to me, was give us two precious babies. I'm thankful for it." Remedy dared to reach for his hand, even knowing he was likely to pull from her. "If you doing good things won't make up for anything, why are you here doing them?" Remedy posed this with a curious tilt of her head. "I think it's because more than wanting to be good, I think you are good. You should give yourself some grace, don't let this guilt take you away from us. You're wanted here. We already love you."
The tightness in Romulus's chest seemed to snap at that moment and his whole body seemed to tremble at the sensation. The boys' love and adoration, of course, had meant the world to him. If their love was all he would receive in the world, it was more than he ever could have hoped for. But hearing Remedy's words, knowing that she thought he was good despite of everything he'd done, knowing that she loved him, regardless of it being platonic or romantic, it was freeing.
He had said before that her forgiveness would not absolve him of his past, and surely it didn't, but it made him feel like he could at least move forward.
He swallowed thickly and turned his hand over to grab hers, lips quivering as he tried to keep from letting out a sob.
"Am I-am I really allowed? To be happy? To be loved? After everything I've done, is it really okay?" He croaked out as he looked at Remedy through watery eyes. He clung to her hand desperately, as if fearing she'd pull it away and tell him it was her turn to pull the fleece over his eyes, it was her right to punish him with deception.
But it was Remedy and he knew that she'd never be so cruel. _________________ Butts n' butts n' butts n' butts.
Remedy continued to have an empathetic expression, she smiled at him and cupped his face then with her other hand.
"Of course," She began, stroking his cheek with her thumb. Remedy's hands were not soft, but she never considered that Romulus minded it. She leaned in and pressed her forehead against his affectionately, like she had earlier today to bring him back down from his spiral. "Let us love you, let me.." She offered boldly, not knowing if he would reject her.
Romulus closed his eyes at Remedy's touch, finding himself leaning into it now that he felt like perhaps it really was alright to accept her warmth, her affection, and even her love. He sniffled a bit before brushing his nose against hers, something that despite everything and despite all their time apart felt familiar to him.
"I love you, too. You and the boys, but...I love you, Remedy. Even when I didn't deserve to, I couldn't stop." He admitted, opening his eyes then to look at her. _________________ Butts n' butts n' butts n' butts.
Remedy allowed Romulus to brush his nose with hers, more than allowing it, she welcomed. Hand holding, forehead touching and nose brushing; Remedy had been starved for it, ached for it even. She couldn't help but smile with both sympathy and relief.
"I couldn't stop it either, not even when I didn't deserve to." Remedy began, still holding his face as they looked at each other. "I love you, I've always loved you." She admitted.
While Remedy's words made his heart give a giddy squeeze, Romulus couldn't help but furrow his brows a second later, always second guessing and always anxious.
"You...are you sure? About...loving me?" He asked. _________________ Butts n' butts n' butts n' butts.
Remedy smiled, a sort of breathless chuckle escape her lips. For her, there weren’t any doubts. She was in love with Romulus, she had always been in love with him. She felt even more certain about it now, holding each other and being intimate through vulnerability; she loved him so fiercely. She was aware that he would ask her again, he was always going to need her to remind him of where he was and that he was safe and loved. But Remedy was happy to assure each time.
“I’m sure,” she answered. “Are you sure, about me?” She asked him then. While Remedy felt fairly confident in his fondness for her, she was aware he had reasons to reject her; good reasons, and she wouldn’t blame him.
"Of course." Romulus said firmly. There was never a point in the last few years where his sentiments towards Remedy ever changed. He had loved her every day. even after having lost her. _________________ Butts n' butts n' butts n' butts.
Remedy’s own heart responded to the firm declaration, a giddy flutter and thrumming in her chest. She felt a little awkward, out of practice in a way. The last person she was with, the last person she even kissed; was Romulus. Their last kiss felt like a lifetime ago, she hoped it would feel the same; maybe better?
It was in Remedy’s nature to take the first leap, no matter the risk. The hand that had held Romulus’s in his lap, gave a little squeeze before she took the leap. She closed the gap, her lips brushing against his lightly; so light it might’ve felt like a breath. But she turned his cheek with the hand still cupped on his face, fingers guiding him to her again. Her lips caught his again, this one was different. It was deeper, with more intention. It was the kiss she had been waiting for since their last one.
Romulus was surprised by the suddenness of the press of Remedy’s lips to his, but that feeling was quickly replaced by an amalgam of relief and joy and giddiness and, most importantly, love. He had meant it when he said he had not ever stopped loving Remedy, but the love he carried for her before was shadowed with worry and self-loathing while this kind was warm, unbridled. For the first time in a long time he felt like it was okay to allow himself to love her out loud and to have her hold him in her love in return.
Like Remedy, he returned the kiss with a certain level of ferocity, like an animal starved. He opened his mouth and pressed his tongue to the seam of her lips, as if he were trying to climb inside of her or perhaps eat her whole. Meanwhile, he continued to hold her hand, clutching on tight, while using the other to cup at the back of her neck, holding her close to him.
Now that he had her again, he did not want to lose her. _________________ Butts n' butts n' butts n' butts.
Remedy was surprised at the hunger, at the closeness, but she was not mad about it in the slightest. Her breath hitched in her throat, the corner of her lips threatening to curl into a smile as she opened her mouth for him. If she was hesitant before, she wasn't anymore. Remedy kissed back in kind, returning the same hunger. Her hand that was on his cheek, had traveling down his neck, her fingers coiling and clutching onto the collar of his shirt; grasping with the same tight yearning.
Romulus wasted no time at all in returning Remedy's eagerness gesture with yet another of his own. He moved his hand to her hip where he grasped firmly at her, fingers edging just under the hem of her shirt and touching at the heated warmth of her skin. He sighed at the feeling and poised to move even closer, however, he stopped abruptly when Romano made a sleepy little sound on the couch beside them. Romulus froze like a deer in the headlights, pulling away from the kiss just enough to slowly turn his head to look to the couch. Despite the noise, Romano looked to still be deep asleep, mouth working to settle after his little sleep noise. Romulus let out a breathy laugh of relief before turning back to Remedy. He leaned back in and pressed his nose to hers again.
"Is there somewhere else we can go? If you wanted to...you know...keep going?" He asked quietly. _________________ Butts n' butts n' butts n' butts.
Remedy let out a breathless little gasp when she felt Romulus's fingers curl under the hem of her shirt. She had already forgotten where they were until she heard Romano release a sleepy whine. Her cheeks were flushed in the dim glow of the television, a little embarrassed that her girlish excitement got the better of her. She let out a little sigh then as she pondered where they could go. There was a reason that the three of them had been camping out in the living room. When Remedy bought this place, it was a foreclosure that while inexpensive, needed a lot of work. There were three unfinished bedrooms downstairs and one upstairs. The upstairs would someday be Remedy's room, it had a big triangular window where the light bled in, and an ensuite bathroom with a deep soaking tub. But the floor was not finished, the boards barely laid and not yet leveled, and the stairs leading up were in bad shape. Some of the steps where collapsed and you had to step over them, which may be hard in the dark.
The back room however, was the most finished. It was the biggest bedroom in general and Remedy had plans to make it into a playroom for the boys. It wouldn't be the classiest place to be intimate, but it was at least private.
"Come with me." Remedy said then, she kept her palm cupped on Romulus's cheek and kissed him one more time before standing up and taking his hand to lead him.
The room was at the end of the hallway and was mostly empty. Remedy had a large eight drawer dresser against the wall. It was white and a French rococo style, probably a gift from Roxanne when they moved in. She kept most of their clothes in it and there were several towels and blankets folded and rested on top, though they blocked some of the large vanity mirror attached to it. While the floor was finished and leveled in this room, there were no other furniture. The window was broken, whatever happened to it, the glass was shattered and the screen tore; permanently open for the time being. There was a draft of course because of this, but Remedy supposed they wouldn't stay cold. She gathered up one of the big comforters that was folded on the dresser and tossed it out and spread it for them to lay on.
"Sorry, it's not nicer." Remedy apologized somewhat sheepishly as she hugged her arms around herself, releasing a little shiver from the draft.
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
FAQ
Search
Memberlist
Usergroups
Register
Profile
Log in to check your private messages
Log in
