Polina was no stranger to greed, in fact, greed was an overly familiar beast she'd shared close proximity with her whole life. She had known it as a ravenous animal that found shelter in the Lebedev family home and was fed copiously by her father's hand. She had always thought that their coexistence was an uncomfortable thing, like walking on eggshells and one misstep would lead to her getting bit. In a way, it had bitten her when her father sold her off to pay off his debts. While the immaterial wound had caused a physical ache in her heart, what she didn't know at that time was that this beast's teeth had barely broken skin and in the brothel where she'd been taken awaited a whole new type of monster of avarice that wanted to gobble her up. The hungry beast she faced in that room that night was one her mother and other women had warned her and her sisters about from the time Alina had first begun to bloom into a young woman. It was the type of monster that pulled girls and women into dark places to do as they pleased, one that did not care about what was right or good or kind. It only knew how to want and only knew how to take[/]. She saw this greedy monster in her would be "suitor's" eyes, hungry, lustful, disgusting. It wanted her and didn't care for what she wanted. If Alexei had not stormed that room that night, she was sure that he would have had his way with her and that monster would have swallowed her bones and all.
Polina's history with greed was complex and sordid, but not unfamiliar. What Polina [i]was unfamiliar with however was the greed found within herself.
Polina was not like Bogdan Lebedev in the way she cared little for material things or wealth. She didn't feel pressured to gamble away money she didn't have to perhaps have the chance at that something more, she was simply glad to have what little she had, uninterested in more than basic creature comforts like a new winter coat or the little radio she kept just above the kitchen sink. However, she found herself wanting more of one thing in particular and that was Alexei Nikitin.
She'd never loved someone before, let alone liked a boy, so this deep rooted sense of yearning was new for her. She wanted to be around him always, to sink into his embrace. Sometimes when he held her, she found herself wishing that he would squeeze her hard enough that she would become a part of him. She felt like she had been living as a hungry animal surviving off of scraps until Alexei came along and fed her all of his love and adoration for her. When she laid in his arms, she thought she could see the shadow of her father's greedy monster in herself the way she wanted him, but unlike that beast, whatever was in her was more docile though hungry all the same. She wanted[/] Alexei, but only in the way she wanted to bask in his warmth and tenderness for her, something that she was quick to return in loads.
Which is what she was exactly what she was yearning for as she awaited for Alexei’s work day to be over.
Alexei had come over for dinner after work almost every night since Polina and her mama moved into the apartment he gifted to them, it had been a part of their routine for all these months. However, in the last few months, the routine had changed as developments in their relationship had made Polina boldly ask for [i]more and Alexei was as pleased as ever to oblige, which was why Alexei still came over for dinner with Polina and Mama, but dinner had extended into frequent overnight stays.
Polina hadn’t been forward with her mama about these sleepovers, but she also was convinced that Marina knew in her own way and simply didn’t say anything about it. If things were different, Marina might have been inclined to tell them both it wasn’t right to be unwed and sharing a bed, but things were how they were and she truthfully adored Alexei and knew he cherished her daughter, so she said nothing of the sort.
Polina suspected that tonight would be one such night for their sleepovers as Alexei had called her earlier to ask if he still had clean clothes to change into for a “meeting” in the morning. So once she got dinner cooking on the stove, she went to the “guest room” which served as their de facto bedroom. Polina still kept most of her everyday clothes in the room she shared with her Mama, but the closet in the guest room was still of clothes, mostly just Alexei’s. He never asked her to, but whenever he left clothes over, she always washed and pressed everything for him. All of his clothes were hung in the closet with care save for his more casual or sleepwear that was kept stowed away in the dresser tucked in the corner of the room. Polina made her way over to the closet to pull out an outfit for Alexei and draped it over the back of a chair near the closet. She stepped back and let out a thoughtful little hum as she observed the shirt, leaning back over to look at it closer.
“Maybe I should iron this.” She uttered to herself. _________________ Butts n' butts n' butts n' butts.
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