Spider sat the test back down on the counter and maneuvered to wrap his arms around her middle. He was careful to not restrict her at all or squeeze tightly, just enough to hold and cover her hands with his.
Stasi took another shaky breath, eyes growing wet with tears. She was surprised, admittedly, that she while she remained fearful of another potential loss, there was a happiness in her that outweighed it. Her mouth worked before forming a little smile, her body sagging back against Spider.
“I know, I know…and I am, but…I’m happy too.” She admitted, tilting her head back to look at Spider. “What about you?” She asked, raising a hand to touch at his face. _________________ Butts n' butts n' butts n' butts.
"Really?" Stasi asked, though she knew Spider rarely said anything that he didn't mean, moreover, she doubted that he'd lie about something as important as a child. _________________ Butts n' butts n' butts n' butts.
Spider furrowed his brows, his expression was as if the suggestion he would speak insincerely, was truly unfathomable. He tightened his grasp around her waist and pulled her taut to him and he pressed his lips into her temple.
"Yes, really." Spider answered back against her face, laughter on the edge of his voice.
“Right, of course, I didn’t mean to doubt you,” Stasi began with a little hum of laughter, “I just… it’s a little complex, isn’t it?” She turned in Spider’s arms and looped her own around his waist. She rested her head against his chest, gently rubbing her cheek up and down against him. “I want to be able to be excited, but I also know, reasonably, that I should wait to celebrate being pregnant. We don’t even know if it will be viable or if…you know.” She frowned a little, hands tightening together at Spider’s back. “And I imagine it’s the same for you, but it’s also different because if something goes wrong, well, I know it’d be agony for me to watch you go through something painful, so I’m sure there’s some extra discomfort and worry.” She glanced up then. “So I just felt like I should ask.” _________________ Butts n' butts n' butts n' butts.
Spider was quiet again, thoughtful about how he wanted best to explain his feelings about it. He was of course concerned and there was fear attached to that concern, he never wanted Stasi to hurt or suffer. However, he still did feel joy and he wanted to encourage Stasi to feel it too. He thought about his mother then, he had never really thought about his mother in a present tense in terms of what she would think about things today. He only ever reflected on her life as he knew it; haunting his past. But it was admittedly fun to think about his mom in all this, what she would've thought of Stasi, what would she say about all of this?
He remembered that his mom was a big woman, both tall and thick. She was taller than Spider's dad, not that it ever bothered him. He imagined her sweeping up Stasi in a big, tight hug. She would squeeze her and lift her up off her feet, and press her cheek hard into Stasi's. That was how she hugged Spider when she was especially happy, or proud. She would undoubtedly hug Stasi like that with every pregnancy. He thought about how she hugged when things were hard. Eudoxia would embrace you sitting down, she would still hold you tight around the shoulders, necks crossed, and she would pat on your back hard. She was doing this the night of the fire; huddled together in the corner of the room, engulfed in flames. The smoke was thick and it burned Spider's eyes to try and decern his parents forms in the haze. But he could see Eudoxia holding her husband, patting on his back. While Spider was not aware of all the miscarriages as they happened, so he couldn't say that his mom would be anymore privvy than him. But he could see her, embracing Stasi and patting her back, firm and rhythmic, grounding them in their grief.
Eudoxia was also chock full of Russian proverbs, sayings from the old country. These hugs, good or bad, were often in company of a slogan to fit the situation. When Spider was in the second grade, his Father lost his job at the cannery. They were barely making ends meet as it were, they owed money to the local gangsters; his dad was scared.
What did his mom say?
"After a storm, comes fair weather. After sorrow, comes joy."
Spider said this aloud, repeating it from memory in it's original Russian.
"I think life is long, and bad things may happen, and they will be painful. But pain isn't forever, I think no matter what happens, we will be okay." He continued to explain.
Something about Spider's gentle confidence and his words made Stasi's face brighten. There was of course a niggling feeling of worry still present, but it felt so much smaller now and tucked away for the time being. She unhooked her hands and raised them both to rub at his shoulder blades.
"Who taught you to be so wise?" She asked, though she was already sure whose words he was repeating to her. She rested her cheek against him again and continued to rub at his back. "Should we actually give Peter a call then?" _________________ Butts n' butts n' butts n' butts.
Spider let out a little huff of laughter at the notion that he was wise. He didn’t consider himself wise, maybe pragmatic but wisdom felt too generous.
“It was something my mom used to say. She also used to say, one does not go to Tula with one’s own samovar, and chickens are counted in autumn.” Spider explained with another little laugh. He never really knew what his mom was talking about with some of these sayings, but it was nice to remember her words, even if they didn’t register. “I think we should, I texted him but I can call.” Spider offered.
“Who brings a samovar anywhere?” Stasi laughed before placing a soft kiss to Spider’s chest and giving his backside a swat. “You call Peter and I’ll call my brother to see if he can make time to hang out with his best friend today.” She joked and then parted to do just that.
((FF))
Even though it was still quite early, as soon as Spider got in touch with Peter and explained the situation, the doctor insisted they meet at the clinic within the hour, giving Stasi enough time to roust her brother and his girlfriend for babysitting duty. It surely was not that urgent, however, give. Stasi’s history and Peter’s doting relationship with the Nikitin princess, Peter wanted to give her the utmost care right out the gate. He was glad Spider was there with her this time, as he had been kept in the dark previously, and he was able to go over everything with them both to ensure that Spider knew everything Stasi did regarding her state.
After a blood test and an initial scan, Peter was able to confirm that Stasi was indeed in pregnant and though it was in the early stages, the fetus seemed strong and healthy. Though nothing in the previous pregnancies looked particularly amiss this early on, Peter had a good feeling about this one but opted to keep that to himself as to not get hopes too high just in case.
They did a few additional tests and went down the list of other to-dos and at the end of it the couple left with two things: copies of their baby’s scans and Peter’s strict order to rest.
This was not the first time Stasi had gotten the order from Peter, he had told her explicitly to ease up on her day to day tasks in the last pregnancy, which she did, though the pregnancy still ended in loss. This time she did not want to take ANY chances. If Peter said rest, then she was going to do so by taking a step back from her normal day to day…as well as mob work.
It wasn’t necessarily expected for the sons and daughters of the Nikitin family to take on a position in the family profession, but most of them found their careers there like their parents before them. Stasi had always felt in her heart she would take up work for the crime syndicate her babushka had built, she had even trained under her father to take on the bloodiest work, but as time had gone on and she settled into a more “domestic” life following her relationship with Spider, she found her priorities shifting.
She wanted this baby so very badly, she wanted to have a family with Spider, she wanted to be a mama.
And if that meant taking an indefinite break from the family business, so be it.
She had called her uncle, as he was the defacto head of the family, as well her babushka to request a meeting with them both. After making those arrangements, Stasi and Spider found a cafe close to Peter’s clinic and discussed what they would say and what reactions they anticipated. Spider was ever the worrywart, consumed by anxiety that any and all members of the Nikitin family were just waiting to gobble him up for any reason they could find, but Stasi knew her family better than that and while there might be questions about her reasons for stepping back, she doubted there would be any backlash.
After their coffee had been drunk and breakfast pastries finished, they called for a Nikitin car and piled into the back when it arrived. Stasi nestled herself into Spider’s side and held the sonogram scan in her hands, thumbs messing at the edges. It wasn’t much to look at yet, just a flickering little mass, but Stasi was so desperately reverent over something so small. She loved this babe so much already and wanted nothing more than to make sure she did everything to keep them.
“You know, you don’t have to take a leave of absence just because I am. I know work is important to you.” Stasi said, looking away from the sonogram and up into Spider’s face. Once upon a time, he had been this about work, taking the next seven months off to be with Stasi almost seemed unreal. _________________ Butts n' butts n' butts n' butts.
It was true, Spider had been a work horse more of his life than not. In the beginning, he sort of hoped he would die in the line of duty, maybe he would get shot. Maybe one time he would mess up so bad, Riley would execute him, removing him from this mortal coil. But at some point, work became the thing he lived for. He spent his time with Ania, following her around to this or that, making sure hard jobs went right. It was nice to be acknowledged for his skill and competence. But times were changing, he was finding new things to live for besides praise at his job. One of those things, the most important thing; Stasi, her and their unborn baby. Of course he was remorseful that he wasn't there for the other pregnancies and miscarriages, but he was determined to be extremely present now, whatever the outcome may be.
That being said, taking a leave of absence seemed like the obvious thing to do. Stasi would need all the rest, no strain at all for anything. Their hands were already full with Nikita as it were, mob work was out of the question and Spider was happy to make the decision. He was of course worried what the reaction would be, Spider had been apart of Riley's gang since he was a boy and he had never seen someone before Ace walk away. It used to be blood in and blood out, hence Spider was waiting to die everyday. But as the years went on and times changed, Riley had definitely softened over the years in a family way. More over, him and Stasi were married now, he was no longer her subordinate. Well, he still was but not in a way that was relevant to surviving physical termination from his job.
"Not more important than this," Spider answered, touching his index finger to her middle before swiping his finger up to 'boop' Stasi's nose. "Or this." He finished when he touched her nose. He was trying to soften up too, their baby deserved the best version of him.
Stasi smiled, her eyes crinkling and her nose scrunching. She hadn't truly thought Spider would want to prioritize his work over their family, though it certainly warmed her to know for certain he was resolute in his decision to take time off for them. It would be an adjustment for him, she knew, but she could see it in his face that he would make that change happily for her and for their baby.
"You're right, nothing is more important than this." She agreed as she reached up for his hand, lowering it back down where she pressed it to her middle. "It won't quite be a vacation, you know? Your job, our jobs, will just be different."
The rest of the drive was spent in a warm, comfortable sort of silence as Stasi rested her head against Spider's shoulder, her fingers locking with his as their hands rested over her belly. They stayed like that for a hair longer even when the car pulled up to the curb and parked outside of the apartment building where the Nikitin matriarch lived in the penthouse at the top.
If it had been a normal meeting regarding business, they surely would have met at Stasi's uncle Adrik's penthouse or even his main office across town, but since this was also a family matter, it felt appropriate to meet here instead.
After a few minutes, Stasi finally pulled away from Spider before tucking away the sonogram into her purse and adjusting herself. She pat at her husband's arm for him to get the door for them. _________________ Butts n' butts n' butts n' butts.
Spider emerged from the car, walking around to the other side to get the door for Stasi. He held the door open for her and shut it behind her, offering his arm out to her to take. He was glad they were meeting at the matriarchs penthouse, rather than Adrik’s. Not that Spider had ever had any bad blood with Adrik, though he may have an opinion about his marriage to his niece or his pending leave of absence. Spider was about Adrik’s age whenever he joined their cause, if they were living under different pretenses, he supposed the two of them could’ve been friends. But Spider’s life was fairly separate from Riley’s children, aside from Ania whom he’d been charged with looking after. Instead of growing and playing along side other children his age, he spent his time killing and fighting, honing his skills and refining his talents. In that same breath, it made him most familiar with Riley than anyone else, and the closest thing he had to a maternal figure in his life. He thought this in the most broadest of ways, as Riley was not soft or doting to him. But she did take him under her wing (Ace’s wing more like), and she kept him close. She respected him, more than most adults respected children anyways.
There was a doorman working the front of the building, when Spider and Stasi walked up the short steps toward the doors, he held them open for them both; nodding in acknowledgment.
"It's been so long since I've been here." Stasi said as she and Spider made their way across the main lobby and to the elevator bank.
Mityr and Riley had bought out the top most penthouse shortly after they married and had kept it almost all the same for the entire length of their union so far. There were little renovations here and there, mostly at the beginning, but they had kept most of the elements that even in the early nineties were deemed "timeless". The walls of their home had seen all five of their children grow up and subsequently all their grandchildren as well. While the architecture mostly remained the same, personal touches like photographs and gifts from grandchildren alike were sprinkled here and there.
The elevator Spider and Stasi had stepped into took them directly up to the Nikitin abode with little more than a code. Upon reaching the penthouse, the elevator dinged and let them out into the main entryway of the home.
"Babushka, Dyadya, we're here." Stasi announced, looking around the immediate area for anyone. "I wonder if Dedushka is here too." She pondered aloud, though she didn't have to wait long to find out as Mityr rounded the corner and with a bright smile on his face as he approached the couple.
"Moy angel! Your babushka said you'd be coming by." He eagerly swept his grandaughter in an embrace, kissing her cheek as he did so. He clung to her for a moment before letting her go and turning to Spider. Though Spider was not technically family until his marriage to Stasi, Mityr had always been fond of the man. Now that he was family, he was certainly more forward with affection, especially as he swept Spider into an embrace as well. "Spider, how have you been? How was your honeymoon?" He asked, perhaps wanting to get his own time with the newlyweds before their meeting. _________________ Butts n' butts n' butts n' butts.
Spider gave a little jump of surprise when Mityr emerged from somewhere within the penthouse. If he were honest, he always admired Mityr for one reason or another. When he was young and freshly introduced to Riley's inner circle, he was envious of Mityr. He thought that he was extremely beautiful, it almost created some kind of otherness about him. He supposed he noticed because of his own newly deformed features. There was also a brightness, a warmth, that followed Mityr like a loving shadow. In his youth, Spider observed it was difficult at times to remain serious in Mityr's presence. It was almost the unconditional adoration, no matter how sincere, made him uncomfortable. Maybe because it reminded him of his mother, Mityr's own loving nature calling forth the phantom memory of Euodxia. As an adult though and even more so now, Spider tried hard to be receptive to it. He reminded himself to physically relax his shoulders and offered a polite nod and a sort of shy smile.
"I'm well," Spider began, also not particularly good at talking about himself. "It was mostly good, Nikita found trouble where she could though." He finished, which was true.
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