Polina was no stranger to greed, in fact, greed was an overly familiar beast she'd shared close proximity with her whole life. She had known it as a ravenous animal that found shelter in the Lebedev family home and was fed copiously by her father's hand. She had always thought that their coexistence was an uncomfortable thing, like walking on eggshells and one misstep would lead to her getting bit. In a way, it had bitten her when her father sold her off to pay off his debts. While the immaterial wound had caused a physical ache in her heart, what she didn't know at that time was that this beast's teeth had barely broken skin and in the brothel where she'd been taken awaited a whole new type of monster of avarice that wanted to gobble her up. The hungry beast she faced in that room that night was one her mother and other women had warned her and her sisters about from the time Alina had first begun to bloom into a young woman. It was the type of monster that pulled girls and women into dark places to do as they pleased, one that did not care about what was right or good or kind. It only knew how to want and only knew how to take. She saw this greedy monster in her would be "suitor's" eyes, hungry, lustful, disgusting. It wanted her and didn't care for what she wanted. If Alexei had not stormed that room that night, she was sure that he would have had his way with her and that monster would have swallowed her bones and all.
Polina's history with greed was complex and sordid, but not unfamiliar. What Polina was unfamiliar with however was the greed found within herself.
Polina was not like Bogdan Lebedev in the way she cared little for material things or wealth. She didn't feel pressured to gamble away money she didn't have to perhaps have the chance at that something more, she was simply glad to have what little she had, uninterested in more than basic creature comforts like a new winter coat or the little radio she kept just above the kitchen sink. However, she found herself wanting more of one thing in particular and that was Alexei Nikitin.
She'd never loved someone before, let alone liked a boy, so this deep rooted sense of yearning was new for her. She wanted to be around him always, to sink into his embrace. Sometimes when he held her, she found herself wishing that he would squeeze her hard enough that she would become a part of him. She felt like she had been living as a hungry animal surviving off of scraps until Alexei came along and fed her all of his love and adoration for her. When she laid in his arms, she thought she could see the shadow of her father's greedy monster in herself the way she wanted him, but unlike that beast, whatever was in her was more docile though hungry all the same. She wanted Alexei, but only in the way she wanted to bask in his warmth and tenderness for her, something that she was quick to return in loads.
Which is what she was exactly what she was yearning for as she awaited for Alexei’s work day to be over.
Alexei had come over for dinner after work almost every night since Polina and her mama moved into the apartment he gifted to them, it had been a part of their routine for all these months. However, in the last few months, the routine had changed as developments in their relationship had made Polina boldly ask for more and Alexei was as pleased as ever to oblige, which was why Alexei still came over for dinner with Polina and Mama, but dinner had extended into frequent overnight stays.
Polina hadn’t been forward with her mama about these sleepovers, but she also was convinced that Marina knew in her own way and simply didn’t say anything about it. If things were different, Marina might have been inclined to tell them both it wasn’t right to be unwed and sharing a bed, but things were how they were and she truthfully adored Alexei and knew he cherished her daughter, so she said nothing of the sort.
Polina suspected that tonight would be one such night for their sleepovers as Alexei had called her earlier to ask if he still had clean clothes to change into for a “meeting” in the morning. So once she got dinner cooking on the stove, she went to the “guest room” which served as their de facto bedroom. Polina still kept most of her everyday clothes in the room she shared with her Mama, but the closet in the guest room was still of clothes, mostly just Alexei’s. He never asked her to, but whenever he left clothes over, she always washed and pressed everything for him. All of his clothes were hung in the closet with care save for his more casual or sleepwear that was kept stowed away in the dresser tucked in the corner of the room. Polina made her way over to the closet to pull out an outfit for Alexei and draped it over the back of a chair near the closet. She stepped back and let out a thoughtful little hum as she observed the shirt, leaning back over to look at it closer.
“Maybe I should iron this.” She uttered to herself. _________________ Butts n' butts n' butts n' butts.
Alexei had been surrounded by examples of love his whole life. His own parents had a sort of whirlwind love story, Ivan finding Fauna, lost in the rain without any memory of what happened or who she even was. In truth, Alexei probably inherited his unwavering devotion from his father. Because Ivan offered Fauna sanctuary, respite from whatever happened to her so she may recover and become whole again. Ivan was ever present for all Fauna’s seasons, Fauna recognized this no doubt, it created a space for her to love and to trust. To this date, Ivan is her number one, confident in his love and his loyalty. Alexei felt like that about Polina too. He didn’t mean to fall in love with her, he knew it wasn’t appropriate or of good morals; whatever that meant. To fall in love with someone in such a desperate situation, where there was an imbalance of power. It wouldn’t be fair, he would never want her to feel indebted to him. These were the sort of things Fauna had tried to convey to Alexei, despite her and Ivan’s origins not being so different.
But Alexei truly could not help it. He had never been in love before, he didn’t know it would sweep you up like this, but it was a gale wind he did not wish to escape from. Polina looking up at him from under a freshly decapitated predator; her white kokoshnik and pale hair stained in his blood and a look in her eyes like the world had already forgotten about her. She struck him so, it almost hurt how much he loved her. And each moment they were together, it was harder and harder to be apart. Besides being completely obsessed with Polina, he had become an integral part of their ecosystem. He had become a staple in their little life, and now it felt like his life too, and he liked it. He liked the small sliding door closet that Polina kept his pressed shirts in, he liked watering their patio garden and helping Marina fold laundry in front of the tv. He liked their dinners, just the three of them. Dinners with his parents were fine, the company good enough, but the food tasted better and the company was even sweeter at Polina’s house.
Whenever they had spoke on the phone earlier, Alexei was already astutely aware that he had clean clothes there, perhaps more clothes there than in his own closet at his parent’s house. But for him the point was to get a snippet of Polina’s attention, something to get him through the rest of his work day until he could wrap her in his arms and have his fill of her. Sometimes, like today, he would depart from whatever job he was doing early. He would pickup flowers and other treats. Today, it was a bouquet was comprised of white anemones and lavender, layered with brunnera leaves and caspian feathered reeds. The special treat this time was a honey cake, a Nikitin household favorite. Dropping off something for his aunt, Alexei saw the cake in her fridge, neatly packaged for…Polina, right? Alexei decided his aunt could easily replace the cake, but this one was going home to his girls.
Polina ultimately decided to iron the shirt and had taken it off its hanger and carried it to the living room. She draped it over the back of one of the dining room chairs and went to the pantry/linen closet that was placed on the wall edging both the living room and kitchen. She opened it up and had to stretch a bit to grab the ironing board from where it hung on the backside of the door. Whoever had installed the hook it hung on had placed it a smidge too high which made it a bit awkward to get a good grasp on for someone of Polina's stature so that it wouldn't fall on top of her head. _________________ Butts n' butts n' butts n' butts.
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
FAQ
Search
Memberlist
Usergroups
Register
Profile
Log in to check your private messages
Log in
